Mr. B and the boys wanted to drive me to the audition, so they drove around for a bit until I called them to come get me. They wanted to know everything. How did I feel about it? How did I think it went? Mr. B told me over and over that I was amazing, that he was sure I would make it. I knew this was his way of instilling confidence in me and I gladly accepted it, because even though I felt that it had gone well, I couldn't help thinking that there were better stories than mine to be shared.
Today, I received the email letting me know that I did not make it. After I finished reading it through, I sent a simple text to Mr. B and my best friend letting them know I hadn't. The support, the uplifting words I got in return were wonderful, but not completely necessary.
My best friend even suggested I try again next year. Perhaps watch the show this year to study and gain tips on how to be better. I understood the sentiment behind it, but I've had time to think and honestly, I don't want to learn how to be like anyone else. I did my best and I put my heart into it and things like this happen when they're right. This year wasn't right and that's okay.
I'm a little sad, sure, but I'm not distraught. There are many that audition several times before they make it. There are many that audition several times and still don't get it. Hell, there are many brilliant and talented writers who submit and never make it to auditions. I am honored to have made it this far. I am grateful to have had the opportunity. Sincerely.
I wasn't even going to submit my essay, because I didn't think I'd make it to auditions. And then I made it. That in itself was enough for me. It was a good lesson on both ends.
Lesson #1: Do not be afraid to try. Trying is hard, but it is good. And it doesn't matter how many times you try without success, you keep trying. A wise author once told me that she received so many "no's" before she got her "yes." But when she got it, the whole journey was worth it.
Lesson #2: Losing is not really losing. It kind of seems like it at the time. Your mind automatically goes to the "Why wasn't I good enough?" and "Where did I go wrong?" But when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, get up, brush yourself off and get back out there. It's not losing because it's not over. The promotion you were passed over for, the long-term relationship that ended, the essay that got rejected- IT'S NOT OVER. You're not done yet. There is more. And more is where the good starts happening.
There are many, many fantastic things ahead for me, for the blog, for my family and friends. These are all that I need to make me feel like a winner.